But as Freud said, sometimes a cigar is just a penis.
Well I might be paraphrasing. =D HA!
In all seriousness, I've been really down lately. Stupid depression. Last night I stayed up until 9:30 A.M. and woke up again at 1:00 P.M. but now it's 2 in the morning and I'm jittery and awake like I just drank a triple espresso. I'm in one of my manic phases it seems. Plus my right eye has been twitchy all day. Sign of a super villain?
I can't get Kibbin to understand that my depression is back. When we first started getting serious in our relationship, AKA moving in together, it vanished. And up until last May or so it was so under control I didn't need my medication. Then it came back, and now Kibbin doesn't believe me when I say I want therapy or feel like harming myself.
Had my first threesome the other night. My friend O came over for that exact purpose. She had been having a dry spell and it was an anniversary present for Kibbin. There is nothing between O and me, considering she is straight unless she's heavily intoxicated. Plus it was a one-time thing.
Truthfully, that scene made me more depressed. I felt unwanted. I still do because Kibbin hasn't spent a day alone with me since two weeks ago, and even that was a day when we both worked separate shifts. He keeps bringing friends over who stay for two or three days. No sex, and the only time I'm alone with him is when we go to bed, and then he's too exhausted to say goodnight, let alone converse.
Did I mention that I actually told him all this? Does he do anything? Yes, he says he's sorry then goes back to playing his game called "Perfect World". Irony at its best.
Went to the food shelf today. Humbling experience.
I think I'm replacing Kibbin with cats. Poor Oreo is getting so old, she can hardly walk up and down the stairs to get to her litter box. It's past time we took her to the vet to see if we can ease her arthritis and kidney pains. It might even be time to prepare Kibbin to say goodbye to the cat he's had since he was only four.
Speaking of terrible sadness and death, Mommy got a wig. I wish I could have made it from my own hair. She always wanted it and even made jokes about it.
I'm SOOOO not prepared for her to die. I cried last night and really could have used some love, but Kibbin was sleeping and I didn't want to wake him.
