I started cutting myself again. I can't help it. Kibbin told me a week or two ago that he pays the most attention to whomever he "senses" needs it most. Well he's kind of oblivious to my distress, or his friends are FUCKED UP.
Have you ever just screamed as loud as you possibly could? Really, without holding anything back? The kind of scream of total anguish that could easily destroy your vocal chords? I feel that scream welling up inside like blood welling up in an open wound.
I don't want to seem needy, or whiny, so Kibbin will never know. I was even crying from sadness right in front of him, and he didn't notice for five hours. Five!
I'm not going to kill myself. I'm too smart for that. =D
It just hurts.
