For Jkitty.

Yes, I was avoiding you, and it's because even though I consider myself strong, I cannot force myself to face you. I can't do it. I tried. I can't just be friends with benefits. I love you, but I can't have you. You are so wonderful, and so special to me. The thought of hearing your voice is torture. And not the good kind.
Even though we spent just a little time together, it was so intense, and unique in a way I can't explain. I don't want to hurt you any more than I have. If you called and I heard you, I would break down and go away. I don't know who would replace me, but for a few days everyone would be confused.
I'm more sorry for this than I have been for anything else. Damn that jealous man. And Damn me too for thinking he could handle anything other than a fuck buddy. Give me some time and maybe I'll find the balls to talk to you again. Only if you want me to, though.

As for why I made the blog private for a few days, it was because some nosy people in my family saw the blog and didn't actually ask me about it but went straight to my father and asked if I needed psychiatric help. Honestly, people. Get your facts first hand, like you always tell me to.